Monday, September 18, 2006

The Chronicles of Higher Education: Meet the Faculty

I start my new job on Wednesday, finally.

After my successful interview with the principal and relevant faculty over a week ago, the front office sent a packet of documents to the administration building for the final stamp of approval by the superintendent, something needed before I could officially be considered hired. Apparently, it was lost either in transit or by the admin secretary. The school didn't realize this until this past Friday, and they then re-sent everything over by fax to speed the process up. It turns out the admin. secretary is out until Wednesday, so it was never picked up.

“Long Distance Runaround.
Long time, waiting to hear the sound.”

In any event, the classroom indoctrinations begin mid-week. If anyone has an expertise in propaganda or historical revisionism, or simply enjoys deluding young minds, please contact me soon so I can fit you in as a guest speaker.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Woohoo!

I can speak on, ummm, something. The delusional nature of political scientists in academia?

Anonymous said...

This is no time to be jumping out of the ivory tower woman!

Anonymous said...

Get there and instantly demand that the perpetrator be fired and then ask for a raise. Switching the order of these two would also be acceptable.

Lips Mahoney said...

Believe it or not, I already did just that, and they found my conditions acceptable.

In addition, I insisted that my desk in the faculty room be catered with the finest meats and decorated with fresh bouquets of flowers daily.

It’s amazing what you can get people to comply with armed with a revolver and a bag of dead kittens.

Lips Mahoney said...

Better to have them respect me through a rule of fear and dead kittens than to have them laugh at me for being inadequate and weak in the face of the hidden desires to hurt me.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure there must be some deeper message that I am surely missing as a bag of kittens dead or alive just doesn't do anything for me. And since I also just finished completeing report cards for the first six weeks that jumping out of an ivory tower is sounding pretty good... only in my mind of course. The thought of someone having to go in and clean out my mess of a desk keeps me coming to work everyday just so that won't happen. Thank heaven for messy classrooms!
Maybe you should ask for some wine to go with all of that meat they are stacking up on your desk- unless that meat is bull-ony!

Anonymous said...

Math is such a useless skill anyways.